Stan Lankowitz's Page

Over the years, you’ve experienced great pleasure, extreme pain, and everything in between.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. That’s life. Count on it. When you invest your well-being on the scoreboard of circumstances, you set yourself up for an uncertain, bumpy ride.

About 2000 years ago, a Greek philosopher named Epictetus offered a way to reclaim your power to be happy without giving that power away to circumstances.

He said, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view th… Continue

New Year’s Resolutions! Here we go . . . again.

This year, I recommend an alternative.

Years ago, I heard this cryptic advice. “Don’t just do something, stand there.” Here is my simple, practical interpretation. When we “do something,” we focus on taking action in the world. When we “stand there,” we turn our attention inward to thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. If you believe as I do that change happens from the inside out, the way to make the most of this New Year is to not take action, but r… Continue

While sharing a delicious Thanksgiving meal, most of us celebrated our jobs, health, families, and the many blessings in our lives. Now, getting back to the “real” world, our gratitude often fades and our focus returns to the stability of our career, buying Christmas presents, the balance in our 401k, the national economy, terrorism, or whatever else concerns us.
Directing our attention to what is wrong and what is missing is reinforced by the news media. It’s about the Madoff scandal, police of… Continue

I coach people who want to make changes and improve their lives. Many are trapped by believing that before they can make changes, they need to examine the past and figure out why life turned out the way it did.

Asking “why” can be useful. Knowing why your car won’t start helps fix the problem.

But, human beings are complex creatures. Considering all the variables, we cannot be certain about what really caused our circumstances. Was it a special relationship with a grandparent, the books we’ve… Continue

There are observable facts about other people’s behavior, and then there are your interpretations regarding those behaviors. Be careful of confusing the two.

Fact: You greet an acquaintance on the street and she ignores you. Interpretation: She is rude.

Fact: You see a man on the bus who is oblivious to his two small children running around being loud and obnoxious. Interpretation: He is an extremely bad parent.

Without more information, you cannot know the truth. You probably trust your inte… Continue